I’m Not Disciplined. I’m Not Focused. I’m Not Okay. But I’m still Dreaming
Hey everyone, Over a week ago, I shared a post about my current learning journey Node.js, Express, MongoDB and said I’d be posting twice daily to keep track and stay consistent. But I failed to keep up. Why? Because I’m distracted and can't get my hands on anything. There are major things that weigh me down the moment I try to get serious with my life (which are like some hard challenges that I can't overcome yet and make a breakthrough). Others distractions are my socials: Facebook and YouTube. I scroll endlessly, sometimes from morning till night. I know it's bad, and the scariest part is… I can’t stop. I'm stuck watching YouTube reels, scrolling endlessly on Facebook, refreshing feeds, losing time and energy. It’s messing with me deeply. I have so many important things on my plate things I care about, people relying on me and yet I feel like I’m failing them and myself. I go out to learn, then return home empty. Sad. Depressed. Like the whole day was wasted. Even though I’m always occupied at home, I still have enough time to learn. I can study when I go out. I can sacrifice some midnight hours to practice. But I just don’t. I let myself drift. I’ve made too many promises to myself: “I’ll get serious tomorrow.” “Next week I’ll change.” But they don’t last. I feel motivated in the morning, but by afternoon, I’m back in that loop again. It’s frustrating watching myself spiral and not knowing how to grab hold of it. But here I am again, making yet another promise. This time, I’m not trying to be perfect. I just want to be better. I’ve deleted Facebook. Disabled YouTube. Even plan to stop checking WhatsApp statuses. I’ve got my Udemy courses, and that’s enough. For now, I’m keeping only Dream Fora to share and track my progress. I want to post updates twice a day, no matter how small they seem because small progress is still progress. I still have a long way to go. But this is how I’m choosing to start again. I know I’ve failed myself many times. But I’m still here, still trying and that has to count for something. 😔
You haven't failed at all!! You only fail if you quit. This isn't your fault, you are not to blame, and you are not alone. Social media is designed to make you addicted to it, they use psychological tricks to keep you hooked! You're doing the right things by deleting apps... You can also use Modes on some phones that restrict you from using apps during certain times. I have mine set so I can't use any apps that could distract me in the morning 👍 there's also apps that do the same thing. You choose what apps to block and the times. It will take a bit of time to get over your addiction... But you CAN and you WILL because you WANT to 😊 Even if some days you give in and scroll more than you should, don't beat yourself up... Remember who to blame! The companies making money from your doom scrolling! The companies that don't care that you're wasting your time! The companies that don't care that you're wasting your life! Get angry.... Show Them that they can't control YOU! You Got This! 💪 👑