I hate my mom
I recently had an argument with my mom , just mearly on the topic of extra bowl 🥣 I made dinner, which I shouldn't have coz nobody ate except my little brother. After a fight, I felt bad and cried in my room.alone just a simple argument triggered all those childhood trauma and experiences which I had to suffer in my teenage years just because I was trying to be good girl . And make her proud because her behaviour towards me or in general. I never wanted to be like her I used to pray to God not to make me like her in those years but here I am looking like her acting like her and even my voice sounds same like her . I hate my voice. Sometimes, I can't believe my ears when I hear my own voice. I feel irritated. I just wanna squeeze my vocal chords and tear it out of my neck sometimes. When someone says you look just like your mom .I get an ick and feel insulted .I know I'll never make her proud no matter what I do she never saw my efforts have never seen it, and never will . I have given up on that thought a way long ago . Now, I just want to make myself proud . I was never a daughter for my mom. I was born to be the sister of my 2 younger brothers . She always says if I die, take care of your 2 brothers, never let them happen anything she just forgets she has given birth to 3 children. I was born to be the second mom. I love my little one. I raised him. I was 11 when he was born. I tried not to be like my mom and raise him with the love and care and attention he deserves. But I'm realising I'm slowly becoming like my mom knowingly unknowingly I've adapted those habits from her . I hate the way I've become just like her, just more education . I'm fed up with being a mother of my brothers and my parents as well . And now when i stop doing all those things, I'm seen as a bad one, an arrogant and useless one. I'm my family . I want to change my habits and patterns I've gotten from her. I need to. I want to . I hope I'll do it eventually. I need to break this cycle in me
First of all, do you want a hug? I would love to be by your side and hug you, I can say that I have been in your situation exactly, I can understand you. I am proud of you for enduring all this. You are a very strong girl and I can feel it, I'm glad that strong and brave people with beautiful hearts still exist in this world...For all those who couldn't understand your feelings, I want to say that you deserve the best, you are lovable, responsible and wonderful. It's okay if sometimes things don't go well. I'm sure better days are coming...
I know it hurts when the one person who should love you the most makes you feel like you’re not enough. You're not crazy for feeling the way you do. You're not ungrateful either. You're just a human with a heart that needs love and that’s okay. But listen, don’t let her actions harden your heart. Don’t let her pain become your identity. Sometimes, parents carry their own wounds and unknowingly pass them on. It’s not your fault. You don’t have to become like her, instead, become better. Keep doing good, not for her sake, but for your own. Let your kindness be your strength. Let your respect be your power. In my belief, we’re taught to still treat our parents with goodness, even when they fall short. Not because they’re always right, but because we’re seeking blessings, peace, and a clean heart. Don’t waste your energy counting her faults. Focus on building yourself. Be that light for your younger ones the reason they smile, the one they’ll always remember even when you're no longer around. One day, your mother might reflect and regret it. But let that come from your goodness, not your silence or anger. If she ever listens, speak. If not, still walk with dignity. Don’t let friends push you to rebel. This life is yours don’t throw it away trying to prove something. Some people would give anything just to have a mother even a harsh one for a moment. And when it gets too heavy, sit alone, close your eyes, and remember one moment, just one! when she showed love, care, or even a smile. Let that memory soften the storm in your heart. You’ll survive this. Not by fighting her, but by choosing peace over pain. And trust me your strength, your patience, your resilience… it will all pay off. One day. You can overcome this!
Hey, you sweet, precious baby. Maybe I can't understand your circumstances, but I can say that you are beyond loved and adored. Shine bright, Queen. Love you and hope to see you smile again!